you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
