I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
