pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
