I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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