Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had sex on a roof
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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