craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
