i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
