lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
