legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
