3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
