He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
