Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize