Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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