toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
