Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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