can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
