Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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