i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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