is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
