can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
