see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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