does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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