Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize