it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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