The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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