Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
