I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
