If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
