Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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