The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
