Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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