from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do vagina's smell?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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