Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
