drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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