mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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