all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
