My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
