apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
