And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
