I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
