This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
