Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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