Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
