We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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