So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
