Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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