id be glad to
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dignity is for republicans.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
