Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
