What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
