Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
