good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
