I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
