We're like a lot better than the average bears
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
