so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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