Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
