I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
