thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
