if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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