I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
